In brief
Separation anxiety is a common challenge for young children transitioning to preschool. Parents can play a crucial role in easing their child's anxiety through gradual exposure, establishing routines, and providing emotional support. Experts suggest practical strategies, such as creating goodbye rituals and validating feelings, while still encouraging kids to face their fears.
On her first full day of preschool, Alexander Lane’s 3-year-old daughter stayed in the car for an hour at drop-off because she didn’t want to go inside. On the second day, she entered class in tears. But by the third day, she eagerly ran into the classroom.
Starting preschool or kindergarten is a milestone that can source anxiety for some children, particularly those facing their first extended time away from parents or guardians, as noted by experts.
Lane was aware of the nerves his daughter had regarding being away from them—after resisting previous classes, he decided to let her adjust before preschool enrollment.
“It’s not productive to tell someone, ‘You’ll just enjoy this if you push through and do it,’” said Lane.
Separation anxiety is a natural part of childhood development, with experts highlighting that some anxiety is expected during transitions such as entering a new classroom.
“As we’re starting a new school year, there’s going to be some anxiety, and kids need time to transition,” said Erica Lee, a psychologist.
For some children, prolonged symptoms of separation anxiety can hinder daily activities, and parents might consider seeking clinical advice. Practical steps can alleviate school drop-off stress.
Strategies to Cultivate Resilience
In her two decades teaching preschool, Kimberly Skukalek found that some children faced separation anxiety. Her goal was to show them school is a safe environment for new friendships.
Skukalek also emphasizes that parents can mirror their child’s fears, often being more anxious than the kids themselves.
Psychologist Izabela Milaniak explains that coddling children’s fears can backfire—avoiding school might increase separation anxiety, making it difficult to build resilience.
“Confronting fears helps children realize they can handle tough tasks,” she remarked.
Milaniak advises a balanced approach: validate feelings while maintaining firm boundaries to help build confidence.
Patrick Edmondson shared his experiences with his son, Miles, who resisted preschool initially but gradually adapted with reassurance and support.
Establishing Routines and Gradual Separation
Erica Lee gives insights on gradually introducing kids to separation, encouraging short initial separations to build tolerance. A defined goodbye ritual can offer a steady structure to school departures.
Lane facilitated his daughter’s entry to preschool by opting for half-day classes over summer, engaging her in discussions about her school activities, which enhances comfort.
When to Seek Help
Symptoms of separation anxiety can manifest in tantrums at drop-off, clinging behaviors, or sleep resistance. If these signs persist for weeks, parents might need to consult a pediatrician, as separation anxiety is treatable.
